Imagine this: there isn’t a Chinese character for “Fred”, much less Thompson.

This is a dilemma currently being debated in Boston because of their large Asian population. So what to do? Officials will have to spell the names phonetically, one character for each syllable of the candidate’s name. But there are problems with this approach:

So Mitt Romney could be read as “Sticky Rice” or “Uncooked Rice.” Fred Thompson might be read as “Virtue Soup.” And Barack Obama could be read as “Oh Bus Horse.”

Galvin’s own name could be read at least two different ways, as “High Prominent Noble Educated” or “Stick Mosquito.”

But perhaps the most perplexing translation would be for Boston Mayor Thomas Menino’s name, which could be read as “Sun Moon Rainbow Farmer” or “Imbecile,” or “Barbarian Mud No Mind of His Own.”

To make matters worse, the ballots must be offered in two Chinese dialects: Mandarin and Cantonese. Why all the fuss?

“We are looking to make sure Asian Americans are able to vote for their candidates of choice,” Glenn Magpantay, staff attorney of the New York-based Asian American Defense Fund, told the Boston Globe.

Here’s a thought. Learn English!

Make rudimentary command of English a requirement of citizenship and this problem (and huge drain on my tax dollar) goes away. As does their ability to function in their new country.

Hey, you want to adopt a new country? Then adopt a new language!