In Modesto, California, a bank robber forgot to cut eye holes for his mask:

Police said a masked man who robbed a Modesto bank Monday forgot to cut eye holes into his disguise, occasionally lifting up a corner of the flannel cloth to see his feet as he fumbled his way through the heist, and crashing into the Oak Valley Community Bank’s steel door frame on the way out

What’s worse is that the robbery was successful!

In a black eye for the dead tree media who were so incredibly concerned about “massive protests” in England due to Bush’s visit, a mere 200 people turned out for the first protest:

Around 200 protesters gathered at Jubilee Gardens on London’s South Bank for a colourful parade.

But organisers from the Stop The War Coalition said they were not concerned with the relatively small number.

Aiden Hutton from Suffolk, who played the role of George Bush in the procession, said: “There have been about 14,000 police, I think that’s a wonderful turn-out.”

In Russia, a man dies after drinking three half-litre bottles of vodka in less than 40 minutes. But hey, he won the drinking contest! Five other contestents merely ended up in intensive care.

Russians drink the equivalent of 15 litres of pure alcohol per head annually, one of the highest rates in the world. Some experts estimate one in seven Russians is an alcoholic.

And way down in Texas, Jackie Bibby bested his own “world record” by getting nine rattlesnakes in his mouth:

Once the cameras were ready, Bibby quickly banded the snakes together by their rattles and wedged them into his mouth. He leaned forward at the waist and held still for 10 seconds. For the record to be official, Bibby said, each snake has to be at least 26 inches long. Each weighs at least 1.5 pounds.

“There’s nothing to it,” said Bibby, who admits to being bitten six times in 34 years of snake handling. The only difficult part is leaning forward. “I’ve got about 15 pounds of snake in my mouth, and it hurts my lower back to lean forward,” he said.

There’s a picture if you click on the link.

Update: Man chokes to death of a baggie full of marijuana that he was trying to hide from cops.