First the Guns, Then the Knives
Doctors in Scotland have determined that long kitchen knives aren’t necessary for cooking and should be banned. After all, 55 out of 108 homicide victims in Scotland were stabbed last year:
Dr Hern said: “Many assaults are impulsive, often triggered by alcohol or misuse of other drugs, and the long pointed kitchen knife is an easily available, potentially lethal weapon, particularly in the domestic setting. Government action to ban the sale of such knives would drastically reduce their availability over the course of a few years.”
Next will be fireplace pokers, heavy frying pans and any sporting equipment made for bashing a ball. Then hammers and screwdrivers. Then . . . ah well, you get the point.
Careening to a ban on the broom handle
Scotsman: Long, pointed kitchen knives should be banned as part of a concerted effort to reduce the terrible injuries and deaths caused by stabbing attacks, doctors warned today. Accident and emergency medics claim the knives serve no useful purpose in…
Don’t forget the need for a law requiring all objects weighing more than two pounds be wrapped in foam rubber.
This reminds me of a couple of incidents…
When I worked at Children’s Hospital in Boston, the weekend would invariably bring its share of serious bike injuries (in the days before helmets). One neurosurgeon, so appalled by the repairs he had to attempt, forbid all his children from riding bikes…wonder if they ever got their drivers’ licenses…though I understand his fatherly concern.
The other is a telling moment in my kithcen, years ago: a toddler, the same age as my boy, had come over to play. Out of respect for his mother, I put all my son’s ‘weapons’ away, including his beloved light sword. But nature will not be deflected. As soon as Momma was gone, her son was shooting mine with carefully aimed blasts from his IED — a piece of toast bitten to resemble (however vaguely) a gun.
These docs need some history in their pitifully barren scientific curriculum. Either that, or duct tape applied to their speaking apparatus to prevent outbreaks of ignorant blather.
They can have my chef’s knife if they can get it away from me. Like the Afghan’s who buried their music, I’ll know where to dig up my knives when the crazies are all dead or banished.