We’re kinda new to the fundraising scene, so for any neophytes out there let me give a word of warning.

At an event like a Lincoln Day Dinner, there’s always a silent auction which has all kinds of stuff donated to help raise money for the party. Tonight there was everything from gift certificates for Chick-fil-A to crystal bowls with pewter elephant heads for feet (if you can picture that).

I figured I’d get things going by putting some starter bids on a few items. After all, there were 650+ rich Republicans in the room and surely someone would put down a Jackson for a $40 bottle of wine!

Uh, maybe not. We walked out with an armful of stuff and a much lighter wallet. But the wine alone was worth more than we spent, so we did good . . . right?

Jeesh, when we bid I hoped that we would walk out with one item. Instead we took home five, losing only one item (I found the guy paying for it — a bottle of wine from Spain — and thanked him for outbidding me).

Now why don’t my bids at the NRA banquet win? I’d love to bring home a $200 gun for forty bucks. But noooooo, on really cool stuff like guns I get outbid!